New year, new relationship status? If so, you’re not alone. Divorce filings tend to spike in January, leaving many with New Year’s blues.
But, the new year is meant to be a time of resolutions. Applying these self-care resolutions might help you heal from your divorce and come out better for it on the other side.
Let go of blame
This resolution can be a tough one. Neither party is usually blameless in a divorce. However, it’s not likely that fault falls entirely on just two people.
You can practice letting go of blame by reminding yourself of external factors that influenced you and your ex-spouse. For example, consider the lessons you learned from your parents. The way people are raised has a great deal to do with how they handle conflict.
You might also think of the ways in which being apart may bring opportunities that weren’t there before. Putting a stop to blaming yourself or your ex for the divorce can help you accept your incompatibility and let go of anger and remorse.
Pick up a positive coping mechanism
Even if you can accept your divorce easily, you’ll still need to work through a number of transitions, such as a new living environment, the loss of assets, dividing time with the kids, a difference in income and, of course, being single.
To try to cope with all of this change, make a resolution to find a positive coping method and stick to it. A coping method can be any behavior, either physical or psychological, that helps you to tolerate or minimize the effects of stressful events.
Here are a few positive options that you can work into your everyday routine:
- Write and/or read daily reminders of what you’re thankful for
- Walk your dog
- Play an instrument
- Practice meditation
Practice positive mental thinking
When times are tough, everything can seem annoying or upsetting. If you find yourself thinking negative or mean thoughts often, the habit can really put a damper on your overall mood.
In the new year, each time you catch yourself thinking something negative, try to flip it to a positive. Try replacing the thought with something you admire or something you’re thankful for. If you have trouble with this at first, it should be on your priority list.
After enough practice, your outlook will start to be more positive without so much effort. Maintaining a positive outlook has been linked to better physical and mental health as well as a longer lifetime to enjoy.
Wrap up the divorce
If your divorce is dragging on into the New Year, a great self-care resolution is to get some help wrapping it up. Using the help of a skilled attorney to finish your divorce proceedings can help you focus on yourself and leave these stresses behind sooner.