One way to work through the hardships of divorce is to remember why you’re getting one in the first place.

When you’re having trouble feeling positive about this change, try to remember some of the better things the divorce will do for you.

Gaining independence

Gone are the days of relying on your spouse. At times, this may present emotional, financial and/or physical challenges. During these times it’s important to remember to value your newly found independence.

Try to think back on the ways your relationship with your ex had limited you. Then, think of the freedom you have to pursue your goals, hobbies and interests. Instead of sacrificing your time and energy into someone else’s wants and needs, you’ll now have the opportunity to focus on yourself.

Accepting loss

One of the more challenging aspects of divorce is the extreme loss that comes with it. In addition to losing your marriage, you may also lose time with your children, your assets, your home, your pet, your daily routine and even your plan for the future.

However, a divorce also means you will lose the miseries you experienced during your marriage. The trade-off can be difficult at first, but it will pay off in the long run. Try to remember all of the negative aspects of your life that divorce will help you get rid of.

Remembering what’s important

Ending a relationship often causes us to reassess our values. Most marriages end in divorce when each of the partners has different values or aren’t able to respect each other’s values.

If you’re having second thoughts about your divorce or just generally feeling upset, think of your values as they compare to your ex. Do you value privacy? Alone time? Organization? Flexibility? This can help you accept why the match was unsuccessful.

You may even realize you sacrificed your values during your marriage. Now is the time to get back to the things, places, people and lifestyle choices that are important to you.

Make it easier

Using the help of an attorney can make it easier to recognize the positive impacts of a divorce. A lawyer can help set your expectations for proceedings, prepare negotiations in your favor and handle all of the resulting paperwork so you can focus on you.